May.2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"One major step to human progress, discipline.  

If there’s one thing to get excited about that’s it.  

Get excited over making yourself do the necessary things."

Ya know those things that people say all the time, that like, you grasp the concept of and understand it’s important, but just have no connection with it in your own life to be able to fully grasp the feeling of?

 

 

 

Like, when people say life is all about the little things.  The things in-between all the big ones.  The moments.  Because really this moment is all that we have, regardless of all the things we’re thinking of past and future. 

 

 

 

And it’s not until you are somehow able to stumble upon living in the way in which “they” are talking about that it fully makes sense.  

 

 

 

 

I gave myself around a month to do whatever.  No pressure with like, deadlines or goals or anything.  Just get out all my toys and let my artist play and do her thing and see what happens.  A month knowing my rent is paid, I’m financially okay for now.  I’m not working about getting work or making money (because time is not really linear, what I’m coming to understand as well.  The process is part of the whole) or anything.  One thing I’ve been thinking about would be if I were to do it all again, I would say, 

 

“Follow your heart that one time in that sewing class that that art institute came in and talked about their program and you thought, Wow, that would actually be really cool.  And pushed it out of your mind and continued with an unconscious life for the next like, 

5-7 years.”

 

But alas, we all have our lessons to learn, I am grateful for all the lives I’ve lived since then and am STILL able to free my artist.  

 

 

Anyways, I found this app called SkillShare.  It’s one those that I kept seeing and thinking, that looks cool.  Whenever I have the time to put into the full free first month.  And then showed up again.   Perfect timing.  So I’ve spend a lot of time learning new things about subjects I find interesting.  Kind of like when Steve Jobs stopped out of school and sat in on calligraphy classes.  At first I was just like, binge learning.  And then I started going to the park.  First, I walked around it a few times and meditated by the lake.  Then I thought, I want to run around this.  So I did.  The loop is a mile.  And I intentionally went at a time that it was really nice out, right around sunset so that I could enjoy it and it wouldn’t feel like a torturous chore.  

 

That was about a week ago.  And I’ve gone ever since.  Every single day.  I used to be able to talk myself out of exercising real easy.  Especially if I got into the flow of something.  But this?  I know this is real because there is no option.  I don’t even think about the idea of not going.  It’s like, bible.   A commitment to my breath and myself.  Hooked on the feeling.  

 

 

And the thing about this park, it makes one feel small in a really good way.  Like, in the way that gives space to breathe.  The trees are big and Thai people watching is the best.  One of those things where I smile the whole time.  I know it’s a good place because usually I don’t like to be around people that much. 

 

 

 

Right now is a time in my life where I’ve given myself space.  To integrate everything that I’ve absorbed over the past year of being abroad and fully bloom in the ways I’m supposed to.  How often do you get to explore what you like to do without pressure of ANYTHING else in the world? 

 

[To be honest, I did think I would go into this maniac hole of content creation to crank out this blog, launch it and send myself spiraling into the world of blogging.  But early early on, I realized that pressure would do nothing to make this process enjoyable.  Let yourself appreciate what it is you are doing.   When I want to really focus, I set a timer for 20 minutes and say, “I’m going to be doing this for 20 minutes” and it’s a practice in concentration.  But taking the time to develop the balance of all the small habits (that turned out to be the bigs things) like meditation and being in nature and dedication to the practice of life at large are much more productive for the well being of my entire life.  I can now smell more acutely and feel things like loneliness and joy and anything at all really.  I never knew how de-sensitized to my own energy I was until now.  God, I’m so much more grateful for that than anything I’ve ever written in my life.  Everything else is a bonus.  The way in which I am able to write and draw and process photos are the side effects of the bar I set in the other areas of my life.]

 

With no pressure to become something there’s much more space and breath and dream and read and practice things.  To practice life.  To really enjoy the act of peeling a papaya and feel the full appreciation for the roommate who makes me a smoothie every morning even though we hardly speak to eachother.  (Thanks Lubo!)

 

 

 

We’re often told to shift our perspective on the important things in life.  It’s not about the time we spend at work that constitutes the value of our being.  But we’re never really given the ability to be able to do so.  It’s basically, “Work is not the most important thing in your life.  Figure out what that means but still spend 80% of your time devoted to work.  Good luck.”

 

 

What would this world be like if everyone were given a month, with no pressure to do anything except intend to explore what it means to live an enriched life outside of our net worth?

 

 

 

Does this idea scare you?  One month with nothing to do but grow as a human being?  Does anything come to mind that might blossom?  

 

 

 

"You’d be surprised who the love of your life turns out to be.  

After all, Adventure fell in love with Lost.”  

 — Erin Van Vuren

 

 

 

 

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